Dora the Dumb Explorer Episode 1
by Gerald Fogg
Summary: Boots breaks his arm. This is my first effort at a FanFic so hope you enjoy it! If you do I'll write more for you!
1. Boots and His Mom's Car

Dora: Hi, I'm Dora! Do you like venison? Well, take a gander at THIS! (pulls out a .45) This is _**myyy**_ gun from _**myyy**_ dad and I can hunt deer with it! Here comes one now! Watch this. (accidentally has the gun pointed the wrong way and shoots herself in the arm, leaving a bloody gash) Owwwww! Oh, crap, this gun's broken! AAAUUURRGGGHH! (throws her gun on the ground and smashes it by jumping on it) Hey! Boooooooooooootttssss!

Boots: (recklessly driving his mom's car through the jungle) DOOOOOO- (crashes into a banana tree, and goes flying out of the car) -RAAAAAAAAAAAHHH?! (lands in some thorny bushes)

Dora: Boots, you suck at driving. Boots, Boots? BOOTS!

Boots: WaaaAAHHHHH! My arm is broken.

Dora: (runs over to pull a crying Boots out of the bushes) Do not worry, I will save you. (gets in Boots' mom's car and buckles them both up) We gotta get you to the hospital. Before driving, I gotta get some heroin in me. (injects herself with heroin) Now that I'm high let's go! (miscalculates the way to the hospital and gets on the interstate) Get outta my way ya (BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPP) You're going too slow!

(Of course, that's not the case here. Dora actually has no idea she's going 127 MPH.)

Dora: Fecal matter is what you are. None of you (beep beep) with me turds. You suck.

Boots: Dora, shut up.

Dora: NO! WHOA! (skids off the interstate and they eventually end up in a strange forest) Where are we?

Map: If there's a place you gotta go...

Boots: Stop! (throws Map over the trees and far away)

Map: (practically in orbit) I'm the one you need to...know?

Dora: This is a better map than Map could ever be. First we...

Boots: My arm hurts!

Dora: So we drink the nearest ocean and then we take a bite of the sun. So-bee now-bee we-be go-bee to-bee to-bee the-bee hospital-bee. Let's go! Build a rocket, I'll get the straw.

Will our heroes survive? See in the next chapter of Dora the Dumb Explorer!


	2. The Gasoline Incident

(Dora has gotten a giant straw)

Dora: Hey, will you help me get back to Boots?

Children: No! Never! I hate you! #$% Dora is a (please stand by)

Dora: Great...just great. I'll find Boots myself.

(finally finds Boots, who is still trying to figure out how to use a hammer to hammer a nail into a rocket piece)

Dora: Oh, god. Boots! Hurry up!

Boots: Dora? I can't hammer with a broken arm!

Dora: (sigh) I'll do it myself. Just go and count to a million while I build this.

(Dora was done before Boots even reached 23.)

Boots: 999,997, 999,998, 999,999, 1,000,000! Dora, what happened to your face?

Dora: You counted so long I grew facial hair. (pulls out a razor, but forgets to apply shaving cream before shaving) OWW! (beep)!

Boots: Dora, you're bleeding. I'm going to bite the sun for you since you're already injured enough.

(Later that night, a giant Dora has succeeded in drinking the sea with a big straw. A screaming Boots, engulfed in flames, falls out of the sky and lands on Dora, setting her on fire too.)

Dora: DDDDEEEEEEEAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUURRRRRGGGGGGHHH!

(Dora stumbles backward onto a highway and lands on top of a gas station. Ka-boom. One can of gas has survived the explosion. Dora, still on fire, thinks it's water. She drinks it, hoping to put out the fire with it. An second explosion sends Dora flying onto an unsuspecting squirrel. Guts and blood spill out from under Dora. Upon seeing what she's done to the squirrel, Dora pees her pants, and returns to normal size.)

Boots: Dora, you killed a squirrel. (throws a bucket of water on Dora, putting out the flames) Dora. There's the freeway. We can get to the hospital if we can get a car to stop.

Dora: Will you check my backpack and help me find something to get the card to stop? You have to say, Backpack.

Boots: Say Backpack, say Backpack!

Kid: (mockingly) MAP!

(Backpack just opens up anyway. After thirty seconds of terrible singing, the objects that fly out of Backpack finally stop orbiting around her like planets, and Backpack finally finishes the song.)

Backpack: Yeah! Hola, I have lots of stuff. But Dora needs something she can use to stop a car so they can get carpooled to the hospital. Will a bottle of Sauvignon help Dora stop a car? Nah, that'll just get her drunk. Will rubber duckies stop the cars? Let's see! (everything but the rubber duckies flies back into Backpack) Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum! Delicioso!

Can Dora and Boots flag down a car with rubber duckies? When I post the next chapter we can find out! TO BE CONTINUED...


	3. Rubber Duckies

When we last left our heroes they were stranded in the woods next to the interstate, hungry, tired, and now they have to flag a car down with rubber ducks. Can they do it?

(Dora throws the first duckie. It lands in the road, but an 18-wheeler driver doesn't see it and just runs over it. When the duck gets run over, it makes a strange farting noise.)

Dora: What the heck was that?

Boots: Um, not me!

(Boots tosses the next duckie. It hits a car window and crashes through it into a driver's lap. He spins out of control and careens into a tree, which falls onto the car)

Dora: Uh, timber? This won't work. We need to make the duckies more noticeable. (discovers an air pump, conveniently placed in the middle of the forest) Hey!

(So Dora and Boots take a rubber ducky and inflate it until it's taller than an 18-wheeler, then throw it onto the freeway. Sure enough, a car stops.)

Black Driver: What the (beep) is this.

Dora: Yay! (jumps up and down) Give us a ride!

Black Driver: No!

Black Driver's Daughter: Shut up, dorky losers! (She makes a very rude hand gesture to Dora and Boots before her dad drives around the giant rubber duck and continues down the interstate)

Boots: She gave me the-tall man!

Dora: Nah, that's just the way hillbillies give us a friendly welcome! Let's keep walking.

(So Dora and Boots continue their journey on foot. But Dora forgets to mark their trail and pretty soon, they're even deeper into the woods.)

Boots: Where are we, Dora? (CHOMP!)

Dora: (sees blood pouring from her hand and a crocodile standing next to her) I think we're near the swamp. (the crocodile licks his lips) I don't think we'll make it to the hospital. I'll just bandage us up here. (takes care of her hand, then tries to put Boots' arm in a makeshift cast, but runs out of bandages) Oh, well. I guess we'll have to amputate.

(rips Boots' arm off with a chainsaw)

Dora: (wakes up in the woods and realizes that she just dreamed that she cut Boots' arm off, then gasps) We still have to get to the hospital! Boots, let's go! (very familiar music starts up) Look, the Troll Bridge! We can use it to cross the swamp!

Will Dora and Boots successfully cross the Troll Bridge? More importantly, can they reach the hospital? Will Boots get his arm fixed? See in the next chapter!


	4. Jeopardy! is Filmed at The Troll Bridge

When we last left Dora and Boots they had discovered a Troll Bridge and decided to use it to cross the swamp. Little did they know that an actual troll was living under it...

Grumpy Old Troll: (seems to pop up out of nowhere, startling Dora and Boots) Hey! I'm the Grumpy Old Troll, who lives under the briiiidge! Hey! I'm the Grumpy Old Troll, who lives under the briiiiidge! Who's there!? If you wanna come over all you have to do, is thiiiiiiiiisss! All you have to do is thiiiiiiiiisss!...Solve my riddle! No one goes over this bridge unless you solve my riddle!

Dora: Thanks, but I think I'd rather watch the bald four-year old on TV throw his tantrums. "Silly old car, silly, _silly, _SILLY!"

Grumpy Old Troll: (goes berserk) Solve...myyyy...**RIDDLE!**

Boots: Fine. What's the riddle?

Grumpy Old Troll: ("Jeopardy!" music starts up) What do mommies and daddies "do" in order to make a baby?

Boots: (music stops) What is s- mmf mff umph!

Dora: (covers Boots' mouth) Censors! Look, what's that? (While the Troll is distracted, Dora pulls out a boom box and turns on "Oops, I Did It Again")

Grumpy Old Troll: Nooo! Not that song! I hate that song! Nooooo! Aaaaauugh!

(Dora stabs the Grumpy Old Troll in the chest and slits his throat, then Boots shoves him in the swamp)

Dora/Boots: We did it! High five! (high five)

(after a few hours of walking they reach the hospital)

Dora: (exhausted) Thank God!

Boots: Now I can get my arm fixed! (grabs Dora's hand and runs with her into the hospital)

Will Boots get his arm fixed? See in the next chapter!


	5. The Hospital

When we last left Dora and Boots they had crossed the Troll Bridge and reached the hospital. Let's check in on them...

(room 324 in the hospital)

Dora: Boots, let the doctor give you your acetaminophen!

Boots: I don't want to! It'll taste yucky!

Dora: I need to relax. (takes the bottle of Sauvignon from her backpack and begins to drink it)

Doctor: Ma'am, you can't have alcohol in this hospital room.

Dora: (screams) SHUT UP! (hits the doctor over the head with the bottle, knocking her out cold, then puts on a hospital scrub and gloves) Hey, I'm a doctor, Boots. I'll take care of you today. (strips down to her birthday suit and begins to dance seductively)

(the _real _nurse walks into the room and sees Boots, the unconscious doctor, and a drunk little girl dancing inappropriately in the nude)

Nurse: Oh, my God!

Dora: (turns around and gasps) Um, hello?

(the nurse immediately puts Dora in a special room in the hospital for people with mental disorders)

Dora: Hey, the walls are spongy and bouncy in here! (begins to bounce)

Nurse: (walks back into 324 to take care of Boots) Here, I took your dose of acetaminophen and put it in Coke. Here, drink it. (Boots drinks the Coke)

Boots: I feel a little sleepy.

Nurse: That's a side effect from the medicine. Now, let me feel your arm. (feels his arm) Does it hurt here?

Boots: Ow.

Nurse: Good.

(Dora decides she's had enough fun bouncing and wants to get out. She realizes that someone forgot to lock the door and she sneaks out.)

Boots: Dora, look at my X-ray picture! (Boots' arm bone in the picture is split in two) And see my cast? The nurse already signed it!

Dora: "Dear Boots, hope you feel better soon! Love, Dr. Fogg." Boots?

Boots: (Boots is scratching his arm) Ah, my cast itches! Having a broken arm sucks!

(takes the cast off and hurls at an geriatric man in a wheelchair on his way to the bathroom)

Old Man: (gets knocked in the head by the cast) Whoa! (the wheelchair spins into the bathroom and hits the wall, catapulting the old man into the toilet) Oof! (To add insult to injury, the toilet lid lands on his head)

Dora: (toilet flushes) Boots, you have to wear your cast or your arm won't get better.

Boots: Okay. (reluctantly puts on his cast)

(Eventually, they get to leave the hospital, and their Abuela drives them home since it's on the way to her house.)

Dora/Boots: We did it! (music starts) We did it!

Boots: We did it!

Dora: We did it!

Both: Yeah!

Dora: Lo hicimos!

Backpack/Map: We did it!

Dora: Boots broke his arm and I put him in the car! Yeah!

Both: We did it! We did it! We did it! Yeah!

Boots: She got us lost, from home, we were far, yeah.

Both: We did it! We did it! We did it! We did it!

Boots: We saw the Grumpy Old Troll along the way.

Dora: Now his arm is better, we did it, hoo...ray? Where's my microphone? (they see Swiper running off with a microphone)

Dora and Boots: Swiper, no swiping! Swiper, no swiping! Swiper, nooo swiping!

Swiper: (snaps his fingers) Oh, (bleep)! (slinks off into the woods)

Dora: (Dora picks up her microphone) We did it, hooray! Yay!

Boots: Whoo, hooray! (musical stop) Whoo! (the cursor clicks on Dora)

Dora: We had such a fun trip today. What was your favorite part of the trip?

Kid: Um, well, I, my favorite part would be, uhhh...

Dora: I liked that part too!

Kid: &$# %! I wasn't done yet!

Boots: My favorite part was when I got a cool cast.

Dora: My favorite part? Well, mine was when I killed people, yeah. But of course, I couldn't have done it without you! Thanks for helping! (the mouse clicks Dora's armpit while she's waving) Oww! Watch it!

(credits roll)

THE END!


End file.
